looking for joy I woke christmas morning to find a bed a ball no two balls to play plant I loosened so many ties
off dessert I got so tired I slept woke looking for joy
went to the beach ran the entire day air sprinting after me spoke to the leaves begging
to kiss my cheeks I don’t have time I told them I am looking for joy
loaf on shoulders cigarettes on ear my sorrow going up in flames I went on
when I got home I called my father and we laughed at my moving out to look you still haven’t found her after swinging your voice like she already gave up her address he asked
no I said slotting in the CD to dance in the shower
then I went to the club looking met this girl looking her man missing
from her bed we drank gossiped kissed discovered old woods can do more than flirt with silence
till morning and I was off a new country to keep looking
started a job quit my job went swimming with friends don’t worry they said we’ve got you
but that’s not joy so I kept looking got another job met a boy got pregnant with joy the fading music and balloon flying into a neighbor’s yard not my joy
so I made tea looking hatching a plan to never let her roam untill i dozed off tummy full
held by joy
Christtie Jay is a Nigerian Writer. She is published in journals like Trampset, Rumpus, A Long House, Glass: A Journal of Poetry, Kissing Dynamite, amongst others and her works have won and been longlisted for poetry prizes from the Lagos Poetry Festival and the I’ll Show You Mine, Show Me Yours Poetry Prizes.